A clutch of ancient papers reveals complexity and charm in the writing style of a university administration. A model of clarity and humanity. Some thoughts on how to write better.
An incomprehensible note
Sorting through some old papers my mother planned to discard, I came across a clutch of papers relating to my father’s pay and pension. The “inciting event” was his receiving in March 1993 from the Department of Social Security (DSS) a “Notice of entitlement to guaranteed minimum pension”. It looks like this:
An impressively obscure communication
An explanation with style
My father worked at Manchester University. An organised person, he seems to have asked the pensions team at the university what the note meant.
The reply, from P R Jackson of the Manchester University Superannuation Section, dated 8 April 1994, is a model of clarity and writing style:
An explanation from the University’s “Superannuation Section”
Several elements of the April 1994 letter stand out:
- “The notice about your Guaranteed Minimum Pension comes to you from the bizarre labyrinth constructed by successive governments at the interface between State and occupational pensions.” Humorous and elegant.
- “A slightly fuller version of the story…” A touch of humanity. “I don’t want to bore you to death,” Jackson is saying, “but in case you want to know, here is a weird snippet of nonsense.”
- “There is more – much more – but I have probably said enough to be going on with.” Why don’t more people use this kind of language?
Writing style: the Complete Plain Words
These drafting gems remind me of “The Complete Plain Words” by Sir Ernest Gowers. When I joined the Foreign Office in 1983, new entrants received a copy. Mine looked like this:
In those sustainable times, it didn’t occur to anyone that we should be given new copies of the book. Mine, bearing the cover price of 7s 6d (seven shillings and sixpence, now 37.5 pence) dated from 1958. I still have it.
“The Complete Plain Words” is a masterpiece which deserves its own post. Its opening words are:
- “The purpose of this book is to help officials in their use of written English as a tool of their trade. I suspect that this project may be received by many of them without any marked enthusiasm or gratitude.”
A core message of “The Complete Plain Words” is that if you write like a human being, rather than an automaton, people will understand you better; and life will be more enjoyable for everyone.
P R Jackson’s prose is an admirable example of that principle. If he or anyone who knows or knew him reads this, do let me know.
How prose will develop in a future world where much of the communications we receive will be written by actual automatons (AI) trying to sound like human beings, and increasingly copying from each other, remains to be seen. I’m not hugely optimistic.
Writing style: what to do next
If you’re interested in writing and style, I’m teaching a writing course on the Greek Island of Lesbos in September. Full details at the link.
Sigri is rather idyllic
Alternatively, you can explore my writing tips tag on this website. Lots of ideas and, I hope, inspiration.
Hard at work writing at Schloss Leopoldskron in Salzburg
As concerns my own fiction and non-fiction writing, I’m no style-master. But my Amazon author page has my best efforts. Or there’s a summary of my books on this website – click on the banner below.
One Response
Nice story, nice copy of Gowers.
Either (most likely in my view) AI will destroy us all, in which case the matter of writing style will be moot (in the British sense of the word) –
or, as Niall Ferguson recommends, we can build walls against it, making spaces where it can’t work – perhaps spaces within universities, or spaces as big as all of the world except the USA – and in those places I’d expect good writing to get extra attention and praise (like the prodigal son).